Short update

Well its been a while since I have been on, to be honest I havent been in the mood to write or do very much of anything else...

Up to early october things were ok. In fact the week before my birthday we had a very fun week. I was locked up for about 5 days straight in my neosteel (a first for that length of time). Sandy had a lot of fun at my expense, and even on my birthday I wasnt unlocked. My birthday present was to pleasure her. I might write more about that sometime.

Unfortunately within a few days of that things went pretty sour between us. So much so that I am no longer subbing to her. We have taken a step back from kink for a while. Its a bit of a relapse of our old problems.

Sandy naturally does not show her emotions, is not very demonstrative with her love. Thats not to say she doesnt love me, but her language of showing it isnt at all like mine. She also has a habit of becoming very insular, in her own world. At times like that I feel like I am just a breadwinner and aide round the house. If she is busy, stressed or ill, almost any stress in fact makes her react that way. Since about July one thing or another has led to her progressively withdrawing from the relationship. By the time of our week holiday (which I wrote about a while ago) she effectively spent pretty much the entire holiday in her own world, from which I was excluded. We probably had only a handful of quality exchanges during the entire week. she read, slept, ate, but wasnt 'present'. Since then it continued to get worse.

A couple of years back when we were at out lowest and close to divorce we both realised that the only way to recover was for each of us to take the others needs and prioritise them over our own. Only if we both did that would we both feel loved and looked after. It worked extremely well, until now. As she progressively gave less and less I continued to be supportive, probably even more so. We did talk about the change in her a few times, she agreed it was a problem and needed to turn it around. Problem is she didnt, she kept putting it off, saying she was trying but not actually changing anything. I got the distinct impression that she was waiting for a reduction in stress to hand it to her on a plate. But life's little stresses dont always go away when you need them to. Eventually, very soon after my birthday I cracked. We had a couple of very horrible weeks of arguments.

In short I dont feel good about being her sub anymore. I feel distant and unappreciated, and lacking in trust that she will care for me as much as I care for her.

We have gone beyond that point now, are starting to rebuild the love and trust for each other. Its difficult in a way, knowing she can do it now makes me wonder why she couldnt do it before it hurt me so badly. But it is changing. She is much more present and caring, and I am starting to want to care for her again. Its a hiccup, I am sure it will pass. But it is a nasty reminder of how bad things were between us a few years back. It is also showing that our relationship is more fragile than I thought it was. I hope we learn from this a little in order to make it less fragile.

She has made it clear that she would like me to be her sub again, that she liked it. I also feel like there is something missing, I liked putting her first. I am sure we will go back to those roles, but first we need to reconnect a bit more. We both feel it is a little too soon, but hope that it wont be too much longer. In the meantime we are making love a bit more, good old fashioned vanilla love. It is helping rebuild our closeness.

Anyway you havent heard the last from us.

Hope you are all well.

M

Architect of your own downfall

ptathuk posted a wonderful captioned image (do check it out!).


It got me thinking how much life between my wife and I has changed. When we met she was very penetration centric. We fucked like rabbits. In fact she used to call foreplay a waste of time, tell me to hurry up and stop messing around and put it in her. Now we probably fuck a handful of times a year, if that. What changed?

I introduced her to tease and denial. I taught her to fantasise. I got so good at giving her orgasms with my hands while whispering naughty thoughts into her ear that she came to prefer that. During her first pregnancy we stopped fucking much as it was uncomfortable for her, by the end of that 9 months she was a lot naughtier, and we just never got back into it. Certainly the pregnancy and post pregnancy is part of why our style of sex changed, but I have no doubt that had I NOT introduced her to kink we would still be fucking...

Architect of my own demise!

Do I regret it though? The answer isnt obvious, what do you think?

M

O marker

Three lovely orgasms for sandy. Surprisingly she decided to give me one too. Absolutely mind blowing it was, aftershocks for ages.

A surprise as she had been demanding all night. Cups of tea, sat on the floor at her feet massaging them as she watched tv, etc.

Take what I can get though, and it was wonderful!

Morning love

Yesterday morning we made love. It started out as sex, sandy teasing my cock inside her with every intention of stopping. She did in fact for w while while I pleasures her. Once she was close however, we made love, ending in a simultaneous orgasm. A wonderful way to start the day. Vanilla lovemaking, I do actually miss it.

Seperatrly I had an accident a couple of days before as well, so she has added to my punishment for that. I am still not sated though, not after months of her control.

M

More dominant traits appear

Tonight sandy played domme again. Aftera short cuddle in bed she stated that she was about to brush her teeth, then she was going to read while I massage her feet. Bear in mind I still gave a cold, so this level of being demanding isn't like her. After brushing I was made to crawl on all fours to the bedroom and wait for her like that at the end of the bed. When she walked in she made me beg, not ask but beg, to be allowed to kiss her feet. I was very embarrassed, it took a couple of minutes to get so i could do it to her satisfaction. She pointed her feet at me and then a very hard cock and horny subby knelt arse in air and face down kissing and worshipping her feet. I felt I was in my place, at the feet of the women i love and submit to.

Then she flounced away, shimmied out of her panties, and made me get started on her feet. It was all I could do not to jump that delectable arse as she uncovered it!

She told me that the power trip when I knelt and kissed made her tingly, turned her on. Of course her saying that turned me on even more.

One nill (almost)

Last night after two weeks without any sex (illness can be a bitch) I gave Sandy a wonderful orgasm. She came hard with a big lifelike dildo in her pussy and her clit pressed rasping against it. In her imagination her face was pulled into the imaginary fuckers girlfriends pussy.

After she came I cheekily slipped in. Only for a minute or so, but it felt heavenly. Her hot wet pussy engulfing me, her sexy cool ass pressing against my groin. Absolute bliss.

After I pulled out she teased me for a while, and by accident she tipped me over the edge. Just barely. I confess I wasn't too quick to warn her, I couldn't bear the thought of her stopping. The ensuing dribble was so small, so pathetic that all it did was make my balls ache. Naturally she stopped touching me when she realised what was about to happen.

Nonethless those two infractions have earned me a punishment. 15 stripes once I get better. Ouch! But I am glad she took the mistake seriously.

One for her, almost nill for me.

Well i am now one horny bunny! Sandy is feeling dominant again, and I've just been pleasuring her. Three orgasms and a very naughty fantasy about denying me permission to be inside her pussy completely while letting another guy fuck her regularly. She is becoming a naughty girl! Sadly I wasn't allowed to cum. Just finished giving her a foot massage till she fell asleep.

This is pretty regularly her mood now. I don't remember the last time we were vanilla!

I hope I get to cum this holiday. So far all she gas allowed me is one orgasm at my own hand with her watching. She knows it's not as pleasurable when I do it. Even then she pulled my hand away at the climax and spoilt it.

Be careful what you wish for!

Years ago soon after we met we talked about my enjoyment of kink. She said she liked it but not often. That she would only want to do it once a month, at most twice. For me that was a bare minimum but was a compromise. I never expected that she would get so into being naughty and so enjoy being in control that basically we don't even do vanilla once a month. Twice a year more like! Even then I crave it more than she does.

How things change!